How to Gamify Your Sex Life: Toys and the Art of Foreplay
Creating ‘the mood’ usually conjures up images of romantic dinners, candles, music, soft lighting, sexy talk, etc. While just fine, they’re not exactly unique scenarios and they usually don’t result in relationship growth. Toys, however, are great transitions to sexy-time, offer genuine opportunities to explore new sexual dynamics and open the door to intimacy and profound trust. What’s really unique about toys is that they make the process of moving from a normal evening into a heated bedroom session so fun: in short, they ‘gamify’ sex! Here are just a few examples of how toys can bridge foreplay and orgasm.
Straight men are WAY behind the curve in experimenting with sex toys to enhance both self-pleasure and partner sex, and a lot of guys are really embarrassed to even talking about toys, let alone buy and use them. In short, they can use some help.
Most straight men are pretty cock-centric and penetration-focussed when it comes to their idea of pleasure—so there are certainly a lot of toys that meet that need. But toys can also be used to enhance partner sex, explore new boundaries and develop a better understanding of each other’s bodies and interests. So let’s take a quick look at toys that are effective and fun, but let’s also talk about how you might introduce the toy in ways that will have him begging for more—toys, that is
Flavored Lubes Make Oral Sex Fun–and Tasty!
When considering the effectiveness of any toy or product, I like to look at whether the it offers stress-free and fun ways to enjoy new experiences. In this light, flavored lubes just might be the best gateway drug for sex there is. Dribbling lube over your cock and asking your partner to tell you which flavor they prefer is both fun and incredibly sexy! Seriously: when I received my first set of flavored lubes, I did just that: I squirted it over my hard cock and asked my partner what they thought of the flavor. Then I squeezed another sample over my cock and asked the same. And again, until they had tasted them all. I approached it all very professionally and when they found a flavor they liked and started to devour my tasty cock, I had to literally pull them from me with an audible ‘POP!’ as their taught lips left the tip.
When men don’t know the toys they use with their lovers, they’re pretty much guaranteed to use them poorly. You need to USE the toys yourself in order to understand how they work and what they feel like. If you don’t want to buy them, you can always go to a store with good sales reps and get to know the toys better by holding them, seeing how they feel, how they buzz, etc.
That is the tagline on TENGA’s ‘Original Vacuum Cup’ sleeve. What a delightful departure from the standard adult masturbator marketing slogan!
Full disclosure: I am a huge fan of TENGA products. I was first introduced to the TENGA EGG by the owner of ‘La Jugeteria’ in Madrid, Spain. She tossed me and EGG and told me just how to use it (swirl it around the tip of your cock!), winking as the egg flew through the air from her hands to mine. I’ve been hooked ever since. The EGG, however, was so damn good I never really ventured beyond it—until now. After meeting some of the people from TENGA at the AVN show this year, I decided I needed to dive deeper into their product line. So I went straight for their classic stroker: the Vacuum Cup.
TENGA products achieve a level of aesthetics unlike anything else. While many aspire to blend art and function (like Lelo), TENGA IS art, and the experience they enable is transformative. Their products are just stunning! The design. The colors. The shapes. The packaging—but it doesn’t end there. TENGA’s products are well thought-out: they work! The little details in the packaging (for instance, the seal for the vacuum hole that must be removed or the outer layer of packaging that must be removed to open the vacuum cup) make you feel that you’re dealing with an adult product that could set the standard for their mainstream commercial counterparts. Unlike many products in adult where the marketing outstrips the product, TENGA products communicate a level of design that fuses sex, intelligence and beauty.
As soon as I opened the top, I knew I was going to have fun: The Vacuum Cup arrives prelubricated and the texture of the sleeve strikes the perfect balance between softness and texture, while the vacuum hole provides the perfect level of suction. The shape makes it easy to grip and the fact that it’s lightweight makes it easy to hold with one hand–which means you can do all sorts of nasty with the other!
The combination of perfect suction, light-weight build, easy grip and perfect lube made for a truly unique session. my only regret is that I had to throw it away when I was finished. So I got right back in line to buy a new one…
(Note: If you’re 7” or more (they don’t call me ‘Magnus’ for nothing), you’ll want to go with the ultra size or ‘U.S.’ version. And as I said, ALL of TENGA’s products are artful, functional and uniquely effective, so browse their entire selection).