When I mentioned I brought something back from a trade show called ‘a liquid vibrator’ that, when applied, would create a harmonic hum to gently buzz her clit, my girlfriend immediately stripped down, flopped on the bed with open legs, closed her eyes and told me to get busy with it.
How to Gamify Your Sex Life: Toys and the Art of Foreplay
Creating ‘the mood’ usually conjures up images of romantic dinners, candles, music, soft lighting, sexy talk, etc. While just fine, they’re not exactly unique scenarios and they usually don’t result in relationship growth. Toys, however, are great transitions to sexy-time, offer genuine opportunities to explore new sexual dynamics and open the door to intimacy and profound trust. What’s really unique about toys is that they make the process of moving from a normal evening into a heated bedroom session so fun: in short, they ‘gamify’ sex! Here are just a few examples of how toys can bridge foreplay and orgasm.
Straight men are WAY behind the curve in experimenting with sex toys to enhance both self-pleasure and partner sex, and a lot of guys are really embarrassed to even talking about toys, let alone buy and use them. In short, they can use some help.
Most straight men are pretty cock-centric and penetration-focussed when it comes to their idea of pleasure—so there are certainly a lot of toys that meet that need. But toys can also be used to enhance partner sex, explore new boundaries and develop a better understanding of each other’s bodies and interests. So let’s take a quick look at toys that are effective and fun, but let’s also talk about how you might introduce the toy in ways that will have him begging for more—toys, that is
Flavored Lubes Make Oral Sex Fun–and Tasty!
When considering the effectiveness of any toy or product, I like to look at whether the it offers stress-free and fun ways to enjoy new experiences. In this light, flavored lubes just might be the best gateway drug for sex there is. Dribbling lube over your cock and asking your partner to tell you which flavor they prefer is both fun and incredibly sexy! Seriously: when I received my first set of flavored lubes, I did just that: I squirted it over my hard cock and asked my partner what they thought of the flavor. Then I squeezed another sample over my cock and asked the same. And again, until they had tasted them all. I approached it all very professionally and when they found a flavor they liked and started to devour my tasty cock, I had to literally pull them from me with an audible ‘POP!’ as their taught lips left the tip.
When men don’t know the toys they use with their lovers, they’re pretty much guaranteed to use them poorly. You need to USE the toys yourself in order to understand how they work and what they feel like. If you don’t want to buy them, you can always go to a store with good sales reps and get to know the toys better by holding them, seeing how they feel, how they buzz, etc.
TENGA products achieve a level of aesthetics unlike anything else. While many aspire to blend art and function (like Lelo), TENGA IS art, and the experience they enable is transformative. Their products are just stunning! The design. The colors. The shapes. The packaging—but it doesn’t end there. TENGA’s products are well thought-out: they work!
When you name your product after a hands-free masturbation device, popular among death row inmates, made up of a dirty old sock, vaseline (or toothpaste, if not available) and a toilet paper tube, wedged firmly between a mattress, you have to wonder about not only the product but the people behind it.
The great opportunity to incorporate toys into our partner sex is generally lost because we often approach the topic with the wrong perspective: it’s not about purchasing toys that are marketed as ‘Couples Toys’ that will magically induce orgasms where none existed before, but rather it’s about incorporating your solo sex practices into your partner sex.
It is hard not to love the Neon Wand, both as an object and as a sex toy. It is beautiful, fun, and versatile. I liked it the first time I used it, but I didn’t buy one immediately because I wasn’t sure I would actually work it into my sex life if I owned one. At the time I may have been right about that, but the problem was not with the toy but with my sex life.
Luckily, my sex life (and my creativity around sex!) improved since I first used the the Neon Wand, which is now one of my overall favorite toys — for partner sex (second only to my big silicon cock and strap-on harness!).
All the ‘stick your dick in it’ fantasy-driven marketing and tight association with porn blatantly betrays the transparent intentions of the Fleshlight’s founder. Blewit!, on the other hand, is the cock-child of the former CEO of Aneris, and the altruistic goals stem from a corporate culture dedicated to using self-pleasure as a springboard to sexual enlightenment. The Blewit! is positioned as the humble flag-bearer of a burgeoning movement that is akin to a sexual revolution for men.
If you’ve never tried electrostim before, you might think that shocking yourself (especially on your junk) is only for masochists. Electrostim can be painful, but isn’t always, and the new sensations can be highly pleasurable if you find the right tools and the right intensity levels. If you are nervous about subjecting your cock and balls to this new sensation, you can use these electrostim toys anywhere else on your body. If you do attach the electrodes to your most sensitive bits, rest assured there is no significant risk of damaging the goods.
The boxcover copy for the Multi-Erogenous Zone Massager says it’s “as versatile as your desire,” and that’s not far from the truth. It looks like a tuning fork designed by Salvador Dali; if you put googly eyes on it, it would look like an alien straight out of a Pixar cartoon. Soft silicon with a rigid core, the Tryst looks feminine enough that you might at first wonder what you as a penis-equipped American can do with it, but the answer is “a lot.”
The Fuck Me Silly Sista Mega Masturbator turned out to be a lot more interesting – and useful – than I thought it would. Here’s why: Using it involves so much more than the same old hand and wrist action that it’s almost deceptive to think of it as just a masturbator; the makers of Fleshlights sometimes call them Stamina Training Units, but the Sista is almost a Sex Training Unit.
The shape of this toy makes it easy to use it hands-free once I insert it. This is a great feature, since it is often difficult to stay coordinated stroking my cock and holding a buttplug at the same time in the middle of an orgasm (especially a good one). Also, if you are worried about it being messy, you can finish up your masturbation session and then go remove the toy afterward in the bathroom or shower. A lot of toys claim to allow this kind of hands-free experience, but in practice they tend to pop right out once I start to come. The Hugo is quite good at staying in place.
I have sampled a lot of sex toys over the years, and most of them fail to catch my interest beyond passing novelty. The M-Gasm attachment is one of the few toys I will probably make a part of my regular masturbation routine. It feels amazing, it’s affordable, it doesn’t take up much space, and it lets me have a different experience than I usually have in masturbation. That is really all I can ask for from a masturbation toy.
The Mast-Bot Super-Powered Stroker is an interesting tool that requires some innovation to make it worth your while. In form, it resembles nothing quite so much as a fat lightsaber hilt with a Sarlacc mouth where the emitter matrix would be. The Sarlacc mouth, fortunately, is just a soft TPR (thermoplastic rubber) sleeve built to stroke your cock, instead of digesting it for a thousand years. The trick to the Mast-Bot is that it just pushes that chamber up and down your cock, exactly like a Sawz-all type fucking machine except with a pussy on the end instead of a dildo – it’s only about four inches deep, but that’s plenty to work your head and frenulum, which leaves the rest of your cock open for other sensations.
You can use the Mast-Bot as a plain old stroker, holding it in your hand like any other, and get yourself off pretty quickly if that’s what you want, but I decided to try and make it part of something more complete.
It is rare, in the current stage of my career as a slut, to find a really new type of sex toy that I genuinely haven’t tried before. That is what drew me to the Love Botz Rotating Masturbator. Almost all of the obvious combinations of USB powered gadgets with masturbation aids have already been tried ad nauseum, so why hadn’t I ever tried a rotating masturbation sleeve before? Is it that hard to attach a cordless drill to a Fleshlight?
There are many things that drew my interest to this particular toy and one of them is the high tech aesthetics of this fuck sleeve. I need to give credit where credit is due; this toy looks really cool!. It could have come off the set of a porn parody of Tron.
Not every sex toy comes in handy for male masturbation, female masturbation or couples’ play, but here’s a pack with sexytime uses for all three. That’s the fun of the Super Stretch Stimulator Sleeves, a Doc Johnson pack of textured, stretchy phallus sleeves that can be used as cock rings, penis sleeves and/or ticklers. All of these stimulator sleeves have solid solo potential on penises, fingers or vibrators, though some are better suited for male masturbation pleasure than others.
The Super Stretch Stimulator Sleeve assortment is a box of seven clear, rubbery, open-ended penis sleeves of varying sizes. They can be applied to dicks, dildos and fingertips to deliver french tickler-style stimulation to the penetratee.
What really makes this genre of toy unique is the way it fetishizes your own cock. You slip your limp dick in and – voila! – it grows! Most people think of the pump as something that enlarges your cock, but it’s usually used to create an erection and, when used with a cock ring, maintain that erection long enough to have sex — alone or with others. The Robo Suck is battery operated and has a nice the little rubber ‘vagina donut’ entry slot. If you turn the pump on and slip the tip of your cock between the lips, the pump sucks you right in and transforms your limp dick into something of pornstar caliber. This is all about watching your cock mutate right before your eyes into a swollen rod with veins throbbing down your column. It takes on a life of its own! The sound of the pump gains a higher pitch as your cock fills the chamber and the suction becomes increasingly intense, to the point where you wonder if it’s going to pull your cock right off. So the building anxiety about potentially exploding your dick adds an entirely unique erotic charge. It’s sort of like the ‘bubble machine’ scene in Willy Wonka as Charlie and Grandpa drift dangerously close to the giant fan.
Sexual orientation does not affect where our nerve endings are. That it feels good to stimulate the prostrate is not the exclusive domain of gay men. And because of the huge stigma for men and their asses, straight guys have overlooked an entire landscape of blissful sensation. If you can shed the fear and shame and just relax, you can experience one of the most incredible and unexpected forms of masturbation available to you.
I like to think that the more open i am to experience, the more powerful and empathetic I am — and that’s hot. If you’re afraid to put this thing in your ass, you definitely shouldn’t ask to put your thing in someone else’s.